Tuesday, December 20, 2011
My Thought For My Day
It is my job to identify my needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. I ultimately expect a Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be my source.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet my every request. I are responsible for asking for what I want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to my request. If I try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling.
There's a difference between asking and demanding. I want love that is freely given.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect one person to be the source for meeting all my needs.
Ultimately, I will become angry and resentful, maybe even punishing, toward that person for not supporting me as I expected.
It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
If a person cannot or will not be there for me, then I need to take responsibility for myself in that relationship.
I may need to set a boundary, alter my expectations, or change the limits of the relationship to accommodate that person's unavailability. I do this for myself.
It is reasonable to sprinkle my wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much I ask or expect of any particular person. I can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that I am responsible for identifying my own needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discover an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in my life.
Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.