Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Loving Ourselves Unconditionally -- This is a tough one...I am very hard on myself...

Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.

Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment.

Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it's time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it's even worse to treat ourselves that way now.

Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them.

People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most.

How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it, if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.

Explore what it means to love yourself.

Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.

Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.

If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.

Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.

Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences - treating yourself well is one.

Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.

Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. We're now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.

Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, God, help me hold myself in high self-esteem. Help me know I'm lovable and capable of giving and receiving love.


Monday, May 23, 2011

Fireproof

John Holt: Caleb, if I had to ask you why you're so frustrated with Catherine, what would you say?

Caleb Holt: She's stubborn. She makes everything difficult for me. She's ungrateful. She's constantly griping about something.

John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done in the last 20 days?

Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, changed the oil, do the dishes, washed the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude, but she doesn't. In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, dad! That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks I have bent over backwards for her! I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, dad! I am not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?

John Holt: [John Holt strokes the wooden cross, and turns to Caleb] That's a good question.

Caleb Holt: Dad, that is not what I'm doing.

John Holt: Is it?

Caleb Holt: No. Dad, that is not what this is about.

John Holt: Son, you just asked me: how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected? Caleb, the answer is: you can't love her, because you can't give her what you don't have. I couldn't truly love your mother until I understood what love truly was. It's not because I get some reward out of it. I've now made a decision to love your mother whether she deserves it or not. Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him. Spat in His face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sin, because He loves you. The cross was offensive to me, until I came to it. But when I did, Jesus Christ changed my life. That's when I truly began to love your mom. Son, I can't settle this for you. This is between you and the Lord. But I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Can't you see that you need Him? Can't you see that you need His forgiveness?

Caleb Holt: Yes.

John Holt: Will you trust Him with your life?

[Caleb nods; yes]

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Something To Believe In



You wake up every morning looking for your answer,
You’re waiting for your sign
While Jeremiah’s on his way to tell the people
But you watch him pass you by.

You walk the streets at night still looking for your reason
But you don’t want to try
You swear the world has got you backed into a corner
But no one holds your hand to walk into a fight.

You swear the light is gonna find you
But it can’t find you if you’re waiting all the time.

Chorus:
You say, ‘keep my head from going down’
Just for a little, just for a little
Watch my feet float off the ground
Just for a little, just for a little
A little love if you can hear this sound
Oh just give me something
Something to believe in.

You spend your days alone still hoping for the truth, oh
But all you hear are lies
But no one else is going to tell you what to do now
No one else is going to help you hold the line.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep on living
But you’re the one who’s got to know just when it’s right.

Chorus:
You say, ‘keep my head from going down’
Just for a little, just for a little
Watch my feet float off the ground
Just for a little, just for a little
A little love if you can hear this sound
Oh just give me something
Something to believe in.

Love, come take me now
Love, come take me
Love, come take me now
Love, come take me, take me now
Come take me, take me now
Come take me, take me now
Come take me, take me now.

Chorus:
You say, ‘keep my head from going down’
Just for a little, just for a little
Watch my feet float off the ground
Just for a little, just for a little
A little love if you can hear this sound
Oh just give me something
Something to believe in.

Something to believe in
Love, come take me
(Something to believe in)
Love is gonna take me, take me, take me
(Something to believe in)
Love is gonna come and save me
(Love is gonna save me)


Chorus:
You say, ‘keep my head from going down’
Just for a little, just for a little
Watch my feet float off the ground
Just for a little, just for a little
A little love if you can hear this sound
Oh just give me something
Something to believe in.

I am ready, able & willing to jump & love myself.....yet anotehr song I can find comfort in.
Songs take on different meanings for different people.
I am a beleiver.
I believe in love.
I believe in self-love.
I beleive in something.
I beleive.
I am jumping, arms wide open, accepting, parachute open, all protective, holding me, gliding, free-falling & enjoying my ride, my journey.....w/all...tough, learning, educating, envigerating ride!!
I can do this, even tho I am alone in my journey, mentally I am not....I am open to all...I am open to him.


Closer To The Edge--I will never forget--I will never regret



I don't remember a moment I tried to forget (I don't remember the moment I tried to forget)
I lost myself, is it better not said
Now I'm closer to the edge

It was a thousand to one and a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge

No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll make it (One day maybe we'll meet again)
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No no no no

Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free
The birth of a sun, the death of a dream
Closer to the edge, my edge!!!!

This never ending story paid for with pride and fate
We all fall short of glory
Lost in our fate

No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No no no no

No no no no
I will never forget
No no
I will never regret
No no
I will live my life

No no no no
I will never forget
No no
I will never regret
No no
I will live my life

No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No no no no

Closer to the edge
Closer to the edge
No no no no
Closer to the edge
Closer to the edge
No no no no
Closer to the edge


Never forget & never regret -- my new & improved motto -- Why should anyone say they are sorry? have you ever really been sorry? Have you done anything intential towards someone? Really?

My edge is finding me -- I am getting there -- slowly -- one step @ a time --

To me -- to meet again -- to be that woman I was & loved to do -- getting out of my rut is hard, harder than I ever imagined.
I have been through some pretty crappy stuff, been hurt physically & mentally & I have picked myself up -- gone on -- now -- it's different -- a different level.

The edge is so close -- not to jump -- but to trust -- to be me.
No hidden anything.

I am very close.....so close.....to never forget & never regret!!



It's my edge.
It's what I make of it.
It's empowering to ascend & to move upwards, one step @ a time, by myself, only I can do this, out on the edge, a branch, alone..............

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Language Of Letting Go


Notes to Myself:

I was speaking with my dear friend about his desire of letting go. I wanted to know what he was letting go of.
I wanted a list.
In fact, I whipped out my journal and made a list of everything I wanted to let go of.
My friend replied I am letting go of the negative energies of all the things I am carrying. He told me I was being too analytical about it, rather than just experiencing it. Yes, that is my Lira nature, think, analyze, balance, more analyzing & thinking.

I was perplexed, if I was carrying around a heavy sharp boulder & I couldn't just set it down...or drop it...or fling it as far as I could, however, I am not carrying a physical object so I wasn't sure of how to let go of what I'm carrying. I spent the week trying to figure out how to let go. In the process I journaled about everything that I need to let go of. I filled over many pages in my journal, I kid you not, because I have the worst hand writing & boy did my right hand ache.

I stared at the filled pages of messy words I had written.
My story.
Everything I had experienced, am experiencing, shaping me into the person I am today. I saw the weight of the pages that lay before me and I knew that I had found my tangible evidence of what I wanted to let go of. I spent only few moments each night writing and then I spent much more time in silence, reading the scribbles of my writings, even tho I knew my story by heart. I just allowed the energy of everything that occurred in my life that shaped me into becoming who I am today to penetrate my being, even all I had forgotten.

Then, out of nowhere, while I was filing and pulling charts @ work on Tuesday, I got it. The energy of what I really wanted to let go of came to me. I realized this is my pattern and I'll be darned if I repeat it! In that moment, w/the pile of charts @ my feet, I stated, just stared into space, thinking about my intentions. I didn't say anything, I whipped out my journal and I wrote it down also! You know, me, not the writer, haha, I like to put notes everywhere....

I felt relief.
Some of the weight of what I had been carrying around had been released.
I had dropped the baggage. I realized there is, in fact, a language of letting go. It is an unspoken language. It doesn't reveal itself in words, or ideas. It is the awareness that we what we are carrying is something that we no longer wish to be burdened with. I think once we have awareness and we follow it up with the willingness to let go that the process begins.

The language of letting go is releasing the energy of what we are carrying within us.
We form attachments to "Our Story", "my Personal Story", "My Journey".
We identify with who or what we think we are or were.
We form our patterns around behaviors and from our environments, we choose not to look at or change.
Letting go means we are willing to change and metamorphosis into the butterfly.
The butterfly being freedom from what no longer serves us.

By letting go we make space within us for the possibilities of the unknown. Many of us fear the unknown and would rather stick with what is familiar. Without taking a risk by letting go of the baggage we are carrying, we aren't leaving space to welcome in all the new and wonderful potentials. In this moment we are creating the possibilities.

I am realizing that the dynamics in my family were that it was not safe to show emotions or express my feelings, even tho I did, in many ways, and got a "label" because of my out-spoken-ness.

I learned how to suppress my feelings and minimize what I was experiencing, even forget.
I am seeing when we hold in our feelings we are blocking the energy of the emotion. I'm not saying we need to hold onto or wallow in it.
I feel we need to be present in the moment of the feeling and actually feel it.

When we block our feelings, they become buried and lodged in our energetic & sometimes overwhelmed bodies. Then, when we are ready to release the feelings, it is much more difficult because we never experienced them at the time of the occurrence.

It is challenging to identify something we've never allowed ourselves to feel, again, burying feelings is no help to me or anyone around me. It causes a mind-body disassociation. I am realizing that in order to let go we need to feel it first, take from the experience what was necessary and then move on.

Through my journaling process, I can see how much of my life I detached from my emotions.
How can you release something that you are not even connected to? Forgotten?



Detachment further distances you from letting go. By gaining the awareness through the experiences, feeling the emotions and identifying where in the body the energy of it resides, aids in making it concrete. It gives you the tangible "bag" that you can set down, drop like a ton of bricks or just plain fling @ the dump!!!

It can & It is a a very freeing experience.

Our planet is going through a major upheaval, cleansing and realignment process. Everything is changing and transforming. We can help the process by allowing ourselves to transmute the old and make space for the new. We may let go of the energy of what no longer serves us and make space for the unlimited possibilities of what we can create.

The only constant anything about change is change & the sooner I am aware & accept this change or any change, the better off I am & will be!

It's time we let go of expectations, and outcomes, w/people, work, even family, for really what is meant for us is a thousand times better than the limited things we would accept.

Letting go is releasing the old fears and patterns. When we are afraid of accepting the gifts presented to us, we are rejecting the potential. If we keep trying to do things the old way, we are not giving ourselves an opportunity to grow and change.

The language of letting go is releasing the energies of the old.
The language of letting go is about giving ourselves permission to experience and express our feelings.
The language of letting go is being present in the moment to receive all the wonderful opportunities that life is bringing to us.
We are the butterflies that have the power to set ourselves free.

Prayer: The Language of Letting Go
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Infinite One,

I accept the blessings of love in my life. I accept myself the way I am. I am good enough. I am whole.

I release the energy of my limits, for I see myself as limitless. I want to experience and feel all there is to experience. I want to fly free, unencumbered by previous limitations.

When opportunity calls, show me how to release the fears of taking a chance. I don't want to hold myself back. I'll risk getting hurt if it means I might have a greater chance of experiencing love and happiness.

I let go of the past and embrace the now. I am light as a feather, as my fears and limiting beliefs are removed. My wings unfurl as I am ready to take flight and soar to new heights.

Thank you for your ever abiding presence. I am so grateful.

And so it is.

Amen.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Awareness

Have you ever felt like this, dark clouds engulfing you & you are trying to escape, to spread your wings & fly away........



The storms of our lives benefit us like the storms that hit our towns and homes and wash clean the air we breathe. Our storms bring to the surface the issues that plague us. Perhaps we still fear a job with responsibilities. Perhaps we still struggle with the significant other persons in our lives. Possessiveness is a particular storm that often haunts our progress. Storms force us to acknowledge these liabilities that continue to stand in our way, and acknowledgment is the step necessary to letting go.

Recovery is a whole series of storms, storms that help to sprout new growth; storms that flush clean our own clogged drains. The peace that comes after a storm is worth singing about.

Each storm can be likened to a rung on the ladder to wholeness, the ladder to full membership in the healthy human race. The storms make climbing tough, but we get strength with each step. The next storm will be more easily weathered.

If today is a stormy day, let me remember it will freshen the air I breathe.

BE AWARE of all your surroundings, no matter the day.....



Be positive....
Don't fight your feelings, it is what it is.......the Rainbow is there, be aware....

Monday Movie

I have published two movies I have seen recently & I have been awakened.

Awareness: This is growing within me.
Not only is it Movie Monday, but awareness Monday.

having knowledge; conscious; cognizant:
informed; alert; knowledgeable; sophisticated:


These two movies have awakened my awareness to my unconsciousness and my beliefs & my disbelief's.

What I am learning to do is to sit, quietly, & go within, w/my eyes closed & see the visions & explore this different source of awareness.

In my opinion, unless you have had some experience or guided through w/the help of a professional, it is tough. It's in your breathing, your openness, your awareness that something more powerful is there.

I am struggling, in my way, to life this sharp, heavy rock from my chest, from deep within my cheat, into my stomach, my gut, trying to get it all out.

So for my awareness is & has been heightened & is being helped w/a professional.
Along w/this, these movies bring my eyes wide open.
Another, is journaling. Again, letting my awareness flow through a pen onto the paper, powerful & a lot can be let go there too. To see my beliefs & dibeliefs on paper, astounding! My mind speaks, & it is what is it.

I know to some this makes no sense, but to me, this is my process, my journey, to get through this clogged up system of mine.

All good!
More to come as my journey unwinds...unravels....like that old comfortable shirt, sweater or sweatshirt that you take comfort in, take it off & expand & take the leap of faith!

Would you wait for it to rain & complain or have your garden ready or the rain? Would you see if it was going to rain or hang out the laundry to dry?

What would you do?
Be aware!!

Fireproof



I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/while_im_waiting_lyrics_john_waller.html
All about John Waller: http://www.musictory.com/music/John+Waller

Voice of Truth // Facing The Giants

Why you should never quit in life:




Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

"Look up, you are in the end-zone"
"You just carried a 140 lb man across this whole field"
"Coach, I weigh 160 lbs"

EMPOWERING!!! A must watch