Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Taking Care Of Ourselves

It's healthy, wise & loving to be considerate & responsive to the feelings & needs of others, That's different from care taking. Care taking is a self-defeating & certainly, a relationship-defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires & can cause us to feel resentful & victimized - because ultimatley, what we feel, want & need will come to the surface.

Some people seem to invite emotional care taking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs & feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, & place importance on, wheat we feel, want & need, because to see that there are clear, predictable & usually undesirable consequences when we don't.

Be patient & gentle w/yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding w/yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional care taking & self-neglect.

But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We can learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibilities for our needs & feelings.

****TODAY, I WILL EVALUATE WHETHER I'VE SLIPPED INTO MY OLD BEHAVIOR OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANOTHER'S FEELINGS & NEEDS, WHILE NEGLECTING MY OWN. I WILL OWN MY POWER, RIGHT & RESPONSIBILITY TO PLACE VALUE ON MYSELF****

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