Tuesday, August 04, 2009

DECISIONS -- I think this post will be more ranting than raving!

On a note--this has taken me a few days to write & will seem to you, not to make much sense, but I needed to write & vent in ways & may come back to this again--

(Thank you to Merriam-Webster)

1decision (noun)

2decision (transitive verb)

Main Entry: 1de·ci·sion
Pronunciation: \di-ˈsi-zhən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English decisioun, from Middle French, from Latin decision-, decisio, from decidere to decide
Date: 15th century
1 a: the act or process of deciding b: a determination arrived at after consideration : conclusion
2: a report of a conclusion
3: promptness and firmness in deciding : determination
4 a: win ; specifically : a victory in boxing decided on points
b: a win or loss officially credited to a pitcher in baseball
— de·ci·sion·al \-ˈsi-zhnəl, -ˈsi-zhə-nəl\ adjective

Now life is always throwing us ALL curves.
Now and again we also get helpful & not so helpful advice.


Main Entry: ad·vice
Pronunciation: \əd-ˈvīs\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English avis, advis view, opinion, from Anglo-French, from the Old French phrase ce m'est a vis that appears to me, part translation of Latin mihi visum est it seemed so to me, I decided
Date: 14th century
1 : recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct : counsel
2 : information or notice given —usually used in plural
3 : an official notice concerning a business transaction

(Sampson is on my right, while his cuz, Jake is on my left)

Whether we take it or give it as good, bad or indifferent, it is an opinion.
So life & its' curves w/me.
I try & take what anyone has to offer me w/their knowledge and experience, since of course, this person has more/less experience than myself. (again, I really have no direction here, just typing away, as always, in circles & all around & over there somewhere)
When someone tells me that I am "selfish" in their opinion, this is their opinion. When I don't ask an opinion, don't give me yours.

So you ask me why this post--well I recently made a decision, that still weighs in my head & mostly in my heart.
My dog Sampson, had become ill again, bladder stones, which he had more back in 2006 & it was a huge operation, because out of the 24 stones he had, one became lodged in his urethra. This one stubborn stone would not be flushed out, so the long surgery began & it was successful and a 2 nite/3 day stay @ the vet's seemed soooo long. Probably more so for Sampson.
No guarantee that these stones would or would not return.
Well, these did come back, as well as arthritis & some already fused spine. Like my sister & brother in law in Florida, a decision needed to be made. At any time Sampson could turn & have a disc slip & then be paralyzed. Or the stones could keep coming back.
To me, anything to keep him comfortable, would be my wish.
Is this selfish? Someone now has called me this. To me selfish is giving him up so I don't have this responsibility anymore or euthanized.
Yes, I thought hard about this decision and spent quiet a bit of time w/my Veterinary about all the decisions. Yes, Sampson will make it thru the surgery or he wouldn't have suggested this, however, the stones will more than likely return. When & how long is the question he couldn't answer.
I asked about the scaring from the last surgery -- Can you stitch up in the same spot, even when the urethra is so tiny? Until we get into the surgery, I can't tell my the x-ray.
With Sampson's spine, that too is hard to say anything about. He could even be laying down & move to get up & pinch or snap & then there is pain involved there.
There were other discussions w/my Veterinary and He & the entire staff made & makes me feel understood, they caring, sympathetic, and they truly listen & no scolding on any decision I made.
So to ramble on, yesterday August 4, 2009, I took Sampson to the vet's & said my good byes & left crying, sobbing & w/the help of Gray-New Gloucester Animal Hospital, made my way to my truck to leave w/his red Dale Earnhardt #3 NASCAR collar, that my Dad gave me years ago, even tho he thought Sampson made a terrible watch-dog & stated "he'd lap you to death,", and made my way to work, sobbing all the way.
In another opinion: I also believe that some decisions & opinions can tear apart a family.
Another decision, to go to work or not: Well, off I went--figuring working, keeping busy would help. It did for a moment, until my newly adopted little sister, NG, approached me & asked--the question--around two other co-workers, AT & TN, let me cry a little & tell Sampson's story. THANK YOU GIRLS!!!!

Any man's best friend!
Sampson's story:

Sampson came to my in July 2002 from my hair-dresser SIW. She was having her 2nd child & had just lost her German Shepherd to cancer & little boy Sampson was lonely & depressed after losing his friend.

So, Sandy came to me & brought him here & he hadn't left my side. It was a match & we were happy & Sampson settled right in. Sandy even came back w/his crate & didn't go to her & then I also figured out he didn't like "his" crate & enough was enough & there he was, laying next me me most evenings, if not on his own bed beside me.

Sampson was everyone's best friend, always there to greet you @ the door, w/laps of love--Sampson loved being by Brandon too.

Sampson, I will always love you & there will never be another for me! You are missed!!!!
I have your favorite Red NASCAR collar with me!!!

Here's to you!!!

**Dad--take care of him!

I will always remember his eyes, always looking @ me every day when I rose & took him outside.
The tears won't stop.
My heart won't stop aching.
The emptiness I feel is unexplainable.
This wasn't suppose to be tough.
I am cold & sad & the knots throughout my body won't disappear.
Knowing he is healthy & happy & being able to jump & play again does help, but I want to do those things with him.
The tears won't stop til I see him again.


Alyson & Ford said...

I'm crying; wish you had told me.
So sad to lose our beloved friends. Dogs are more than pets, they are family and best friends. So sorry.


Claire's Mom said...

Sending you big hugs!! If you want the real thing, I'll meet you anywhere - any time!!

Melissa said...

Thanks Al & Deb!!!!

xxoo to you both!

Alyson & Ford said...

Yo! Sampson!
Tell Salty Dog we said Hi and give him a good lick for us...


Melissa said...

Ford, I bet they are together w/Dad's help--Salty-Dog & Sam never meet & now they can play together, finally!


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Melissa said...

Thanks Dyana